At first of course there was only confusion. There were so many cats packed in around the Grand Bazaar that it took quite some time for those with some claim on leadership to find each other and verify that all of the steps both urgent and critical were completed. News spread amongst the mingling of tribes. Mr Respectable was dead, started one strand, and this fact was little disputed, for Longshanks had tossed down his head into the crowds, and the cats, not knowing what else to do with it, passed it around until one of the more hygenic gutter cat mothers decided to put it in the bin. That Longshanks still lived was more difficult to establish, but he eventually came down and made his way through the crush, looking for Zara and some other cats of his class. Then of course there was the arrival of those Izmirs recently released, and the arrival of Izmir the hero, and then the news, which was little more than gossip, that the marriage between Izabel and Mr Respectable had already been annulled. Rumour even had it that the Izmir would take Mr Respectable's place. A little later Elvan announced that Hasbi and the other mercenaries had been hunted down by he and Kadir. On Wellington's advice they too would stand trial alongside Mr Ordinary and Mr Caring, before receiving the customary drowning that they deserved.
Eventually Serkan arrived, looking ever so satisfied with himself, and managed to organise a quick moment between the gutter cat elders, Longshanks and the other lords and ladies. It was agreed to hold a day of celebrations. The cats should now disperse, rejoicing however they wished, but later there would be a party in Taksim Square. Tomorrow there would be a proper meeting, no doubt the first of many, in which they would discuss the future of civilisation. This news was passed about amongst the tribes and slowly cats began to make their way towards their homes. There was, it is true, a small amount of looting that took place at the Grand Bazaar. It had started when one of the more vivacious ladies had gone inside to bring out some refreshments for the troops, and said no doubt that everyone was welcome to help themselves. Well, what with the quality of the food, and all of the cream and wine, some of the gutter cats got a little carried away and started carting off anything that took their fancy, much of it I hear not at all the property of the alley cats.
Meanwhile, after allowing Izmir and Izabel some much needed privacy, I decided it really was time to start the introductions. Izabel I called you will have the rest of your life to look at Izmir, but first impressions can only be made once, and I would hate to miss out on this chance to meet your friends, for it is an important moment, and everyone is in such a good mood. Of course Izabel was only too happy to oblige me, and before long I had formed a little group: Longshanks was there, as was Wellington and Churchill, and so too were Ahmet and Fatma, Zeynep, Zara and Serkan, Elvan, Jezabel and Kadir.
I have to say that I found the experience utterly charming. All of the cats I met were lovely, and not at all lacking in the qualities that one would expect from characters in positions such as theirs. Longshanks, unburdened through absolution, was transformed into the leader of stately proportions that only breeding such as his can support. I found in his aspect both warmth and dignity, and for some minutes exchanged pleasantries with him and his lords on the subject of estate management. Ahmet and Fatma, but most of all Fatma, were such expressions of enthusiasm as to sweep away my heart. All those in their company were dazzled by the sincerity of their relief - thank god things had come round in the end - and by the strength of their smiles, for they felt, as no doubt they deserved, that they had helped save the world. Fatma it is true I had to defend myself from in the end, for her applications were so persistent, and time-consuming in their nature (I was after all the first human she had ever been allowed to talk to) that I began to feel impolite for neglecting the rest of the circle. I promised her, as soon as I could, we would have dinner together, perhaps even at the palace, and there she could pick my brains as much as she liked. Zara of course I had met, and anyway often short on words, she barely said a thing, for it was as much as she could do to stop herself from crying. Zeynep and Serkan, oh what treasures this world still now contains, had barely changed in mood since this mess began. Their natural states sustain happy equanimity, and so those fluctuations to which the external world is exposed left little mark upon their countenance, but still, it was noticeable for everyone, the victory of good over evil freed up the flow of their personalities and thus both bubbled away at a level of conversation that description can do no justice. Elvan, Jezabel and Kadir were in truth all a little awkward, and I could understand why, for no doubt they had gone too far in the pursuit of their various objectives. The atmosphere was one of forgiveness, and I think the rest of the group decided that in the end they too were victims, even if they had sinned quite extensively. Elvan, with admirable flexibility, softened towards both the rooftop cats and Jezabel. Peace, putting away all the bad things into the past, and closing one's disposition against such a time, was possible for him now that he understood the mistakes he had made. Perhaps the rooftop cats were not so bad after all; they, like him, had been tricked. Jezabel really was a sweet little thing and had only erred where the context proved unmanageable. He might be able to make it work… Who knew, but in some ways that he could only wonder at, it felt like the right thing to do to try. Kadir, finally, simply had to swallow hurt pride, which, after various entreaties from Ahmet and Fatma, he did and so too moved on to this future of shared success.
After a good while of talking the conversation began to lose a little lustre and one cat or another fell to thinking about whatever subject engaged their internal interests the most. Seeing us open enough to enforce some attention in their direction, the human voices decided to intervene. A gust of negative energy came down from the sky.
'I am going to give all of you the same message' said the human voice, the voice apparently belonging to someone that thought quite highly of himself. 'You can celebrate your little victory if you like, but know that this is not the end. Turkey belongs to us, and we will have our revenge for the disruption that you silly creatures somehow managed to dream up. We will win this war, Esma will submit, and so too will you cats.'
'This' said the voice, then blasting each of us with a wave of worry, 'is the future. The old world is done for; the new world order knows no contradiction.'
I think we all agreed, just from seeing the look on each of the others' faces, that defeating this nuisance was a priority for tomorrow, but for now it was of little concern, for the celebrations we were committed to that night would suffer no distraction.
We agreed to all meet later at Taksim Square and I went to find Yavuz, who, despite the defeat of the alleys, was still looking rather glum. He had refused to engage in conversation with the cats, and I think was seriously troubled by hearing me chat away the afternoon with them. It was not I suppose that he thought me mad, for indeed I asked him, could he hear them talking in human, and he confirmed that he could, but that he was worried for his own sanity. He said that he could not helping doubting his own sense of experience, and such a thing made him uncomfortable on many fronts. Too he said there was a pressing need for him to return to the East. The fighting there was intense. This new technology was affecting their side to a great degree. The performance of the soldiers was much worsened; their fitness, although absolutely not to be doubted in normal conditions, was in practice poor; the men complained of heart problems and breathing problems, and even when not fighting they could little relax; so too their equipment was often found to be faulty, for no good reason and at the worst of times; most trying of all, the enemy, an inferior military force, was always one step ahead. I must be warned he said that he could not guarantee a victory. We should prepare now, he concluded, for endurance against such difficulties.
I had spoken to Zara of this matter and I agreed with her strategy. We had to focus on understanding this new technology so that we might defeat it, and then everything else would fall back into its rightful place. The only complexity to winning then was to see that we maintained our resources until that moment when the solution emerged. If needed then I told him he must see that our forces fell back and saved themselves to fight on better terms. We, I assured him, would choose the battlefield for our victory, and until we could ensure the success of our selection, we had no choice but to wait.
The consequences, he countered, might be grave for yourself, and of course they were, but as I have proved, and will prove again, spirits such as mine, with or without the cats, cannot be defeated, merely momentarily checked. Yavuz cheered on seeing my strength and we departed on happy terms.
I went quickly back to the palace and informed the court of our victory. Then I changed into my best ball gown, knocked back a few glasses of raki and then headed out to party.
Taksim Square was as full with cats that evening as it had ever been, far more full than on either the night of the gutter cat conference or the night of the gutter cat rising, for to the party both the rooftop cats and the alley cats (at least those not arrested) had also been invited. The rooftop cats were more than happy to come down and meet the gutters on their own terms, for in the end, both sensibilities aimed high and low love to drink, laugh and dance, but the alley cats, on the other paw, initially found it difficult to integrate. They had previously been so nasty that neither rooftop nor gutter had noticed that they lacked individuality, and therein personality enough to impress beyond those orders sent down from the cats of the moment, which were, in general, entirely generic. Now to have to find their selves again, in circumstances such as these, well it was something of an eye-opener for the others. The more observant of those partying could see them being held back by the weight of the energy which had occupied their senses these years past, and could also see them trying to break free. One alley cat here shook out a leg, another raised an arm. Soon after some of them started to sway their hips. Finally one was seen to smile. For them too the nightmare was over. They could barely believe their luck, they had not been slaughtered en masse, they had been invited to celebrate. Before long, enough time at least for the effect of the White Russians on offer to soothe their souls, they even began to attempt conversation with the other cats. Wasn't that awful they said, we're ever so sorry but we really didn't see the chance to do otherwise, it all happened so quickly, and we didn't understand how bad it was going to get, we were tricked you see, but if you'll give us another chance we promise that we'll be good cats from now on. The more perceptive of those other cats present understood that they were witnessing the reascendance of nature, and the alley cats, so long held down by human deceit, might have done much better if left to their own devices, which, although lacking in both the nobility of the rooftops and the numinous self-negation of the gutters, were not necessarily negative.
No, it was not a night for recriminations, it was a time of glory, a time to remember that goodness was long ago gifted from the heavens, and that no matter the efforts made, the metaphysics of our universe may not be contravened, whatever the contradiction posed by cross-natured cats or hateful humans.
When the cats saw me arrive the square erupted with a chorus of cheering, miaow miaow, hurrah hurrah, the human queen has arrived, our honoured guest, and the first ever from their species to spend time in our world. The crowds made enough effort to part that my legs might move forwards, but only just enough, for not a step could I take without one cat or another brushing themselves against me to show their affection. Oh how my grin sought out eternity, and in doing so discovered the limits of my face, but still I think the shine of this smile sings at the prospect of infinity, and you will never know what it feels like to have such heavy sorrows redressed in action so singular as mine. Flowing through Taksim, my soul was a shimmer of the utmost happiness, because for certain I now knew from this story of the cats, although I had never doubted it, that our own civilisation could not fail.
Izabel came speeding across the square, an arrow sent between cultures from Aphrodite's bow, straight into my arms, and so I raised her into the sky and let tears of joy come streaming down from my eyes.
'Izabel we did it!' I cried, holding her aloft and swinging her around in a circle as I spun on my tip-toes. 'Oh what a triumph!'
Stopping my spin I saw that now too Izmir was before me. He also jumped up and I had just enough time to reposition Izabel before he landed against my chest, and so then I spun with both of them in my arms, holding one against each shoulder, and then the crowd erupted again.
Miaow miaow! Hurrah hurrah! Izabel! Izmir! Esma! Miaow miaow! Hurrah hurrah! Iz-a-bel-Iz-mir-Iz-a-bell-Iz-more! And it was true, life is far more than just a feeling, it is both good and beautiful on more levels than we might possibly understand, and for that let the bells ring out. For a moment, I closed my eyes, continuing to spin, and therein I slipped away, thinking of the past, present and future, and I knew that my vision of a world at peace was not a dream.
Soon after I too found myself relaxing with a White Russian, and it was much better than I expected, and so I had another and another, until the scene before my eyes began to swirl and blend, and all the different colours came together, radiant, sublime, diverse and yet united.
That evening I slept with the cats, I don't remember going to bed but I suppose there was little chance of me walking back to the palace alone and bless them they took care of me. Somehow I managed to get up onto the rooftops - perhaps I could recall remarking on the view - and so I awoke staring into the rising sun, the sight of which quite took my breath away, for I had never seen Istanbul look so wonderful, the morning blue of the Golden Horn, the rise of Galata Tower above Beyoğlu, the golden-whites of daybreak over the Bosphorus, across the waters Üsküdar and then beyond the curve of our planet towards the horizon. From West to East, there did not seem to be a single thing wrong, it was just another normal day, with everything more or less as it should be, and, I thought, no matter how exceptional some of the content in this life, it counts as nothing in comparison to our coming together.
After breakfast on Galata Bridge, some mackerel, grilled for me and raw for the cats, we set off to get on with all that lay before us. There was much to do. Longshanks had invited the elders and I for a meeting with the lords and ladies, back up on the rooftop of the Hagia Sophia, to agree a peace deal, between rooftop, alley, gutter and palace. Of course I found this prospect very exciting, but in truth, the mood at the meeting was quite serious, and there was little opportunity for me to contribute.
Longshanks and Serkan had already fixed it, and the rest of us were there only as a formality. A proposal was read out for us to endorse:
Everlasting peace is hereby proclaimed between the cat tribes of Istanbul.
Subservience to humanity remains prohibited.
All cats may go wherever they please, do whatever they like and say whatever they think; these rights are inalienable.
It saddened me to think that the cats were suspicious of our kind, and I reflected that perhaps I had only been invited as some sort of warning. I said I was happy to respect the second point, but assured them that it was foolish to think of freedom as the concern of felinity, and that we might co-operate to ensure the independence of both species was guaranteed against those individuals that wished to take it away, whoever they were. Of course Longshanks and Serkan had already discussed this, and told me that they had not precluded co-operating with me against the specific group of humans who used this new technology, but that ultimately this was a matter of tactics, and an issue for the short term, and that beyond this exception, things would be carrying on exactly as they always had. This new technology Longshanks told me was in his view further proof that humanity was destined for self-extinction, and was therefore, as well as being grounds for short-term co-operation, also the perfect illustration of why in the long term we should live separately. Our energy cycle was fundamentally destructive, this was obvious to all species but humans themselves. If I thought differently then it was my business to prove it, but as far as they were concerned, the animal kingdom could only be ordered with cats sitting at the top.
I decided to leave it at that, for the time being at least. After the endorsement of the peace declaration, there was discussion on the topic of what to do about the alley cats. Zeynep and Elvan favoured doing away with the tribe entirely, inviting then those cats previously known as alley cats into their own tribes, letting them choose whichever worked best for them. Longshanks pointed out this was simply impractical, for it would make both rooftop and gutter more crowded, and leave the alleys empty, which was a poor use of space, and also risked conceding the territory – what if it was occupied by dogs, vermin or vagrants? Serkan agreed that they should leave the alleys where they were. The only thing they had to do was to educate them. Zara insisted that they had to bring an end to the enforcers, and for that matter too Mr Security. Longshanks countered that this would only lead to tension with the rooftops, for having the only professional military force. Serkan asked now that they had agreed to everlasting peace, why did any of the tribes need military forces? Longshanks snorted, and what about the humans? What about the dogs? Come on Serkan!
Eventually it was agreed that the cats of Istanbul would have a new military force, which was recruited in equal parts from all the tribes, and that the alley cats could carry on calling a cat Mr Security if they liked, but that the name in itself would mean nothing beyond the merit of the individual in question.
After that there was a short discussion about what had really happened. It was observed by Zara that the prophecy had indeed come true. The three treasures of the cats had been united. There really was a hero called Izmir. They had just agreed a peace deal, which might be interpreted as bringing down the walls. Mr Respectable was one evil king and the human leader he had a pact with was obviously the other. Could they then speculate that this happy present had indeed been foreseen by their ancestors?
I interrupted, pointing out that Izmir and Izabel were not yet married.
Longshanks sighed, and said that after giving Izmir a good poke, and taking a long look in his eyes, he had concluded that he was an acceptable choice. He was indeed a hero, and he would be pleased to welcome him into the family. Izabel blushed intensely and said nothing.
As to what really happened, he wasn't one to go in for cosmological speculation, but it did seem a bit too much to be entirely a coincidence. In any case, it was hardly the point, what really mattered was that they understood how they had been affected by this new technology. Would they have had any problems at all without it? This was a difficult question to answer, and he was not sure they had either the knowledge or the time to solve the problem today, but he would strongly recommend setting up a cross-tribe working group to study the issue. This technology absolutely had to be stopped, and as soon as possible.
After that he had one more thing to announce. In two days time Izabel would be crowned as Queen of the World, and after the coronation she would be married to Izmir. He would hold the honorary title Lord of Istanbul until his death, which he hoped was still some time off. All of us clapped and Izabel blushed again.
Then it was time for the trial of the traitors. We hurried down from the rooftops, picking up Izmir on our way, and met the rest of the tribes in the square below. Again the alley cats were invited, for everyone thought it important for them to watch their leaders exposed as worthless frauds, and so the square was absolutely packed. All of the gutters complained that it would have made far more sense to hold it in Taksim Square but Longshanks had insisted that the proceedings would have an official tone. It was only when Izabel came down, gracious queen that she was, that anyone noticed how stupid it was for the crowds to be so uncomfortable, for of course neither alley nor gutter had thought to position themselves around the perimeter of the square, on the rooftops.
'But dear cats' she cried, 'please ease yourselves and rise up, there is plenty of space on high. Come now, all of the cats at the back must take a seat on the rooftops.'
But how fun for them to be invited! In a matter of moments half the square had found a way to climb up on top of the surrounding buildings and so settled in to watch what was widely expected to be the trial of a lifetime. Sat before a cause of such universal concern, cats didn't mind who they had ended up next to. Gutter cat was sat by alley cat and alley cat by rooftop cat, and all found it very easy to talk to each other. Amusingly for the other tribes, the alley cats were the most excited for the upcoming trial, and who can say why, but I suppose that for them the condemnation of others was an important part in their own emotional release, and perhaps a little of it was that they found satisfaction in observing the fall of these overly-ambitious cats, who had tried so hard to transcend the talent of their tribe, the capacity for achievement granted them by nature.
The crowds watched the gutter cat elders and the lords and ladies make their way through to the centre of the square, where two rows of chairs had been positioned, the first containing only two places, for Mr Ordinary and Mr Caring, and the second several more, for Hasbi and the other mercenaries. I thought it appropriate to stand with my back against a wall, for this was not really about me, and most importantly, I would have hated to block the view of the cats for such a momentous occasion.
The format of the trial was simple. The charges and accompanying case would be presented by Serkan, who was considered the most neutral cat in the world, against which the accused would make their plea. Following that questions could be asked. After all of the evidence had been heard, the tribes would make their verdict through a show of paws. Longshanks would decide the punishment, but of course no one doubted that this would be death.
When the prisoners were dragged in by Kadir and some rooftop knights, a ripple of excitement passed through the crowd. The rules were being upheld, and bad cats were going to get what they deserved. There was something deliciously primal about the prospect of blaming others. Few cats wanted to dwell on it, but this emotion certainly existed within them: take that, and well, they had it coming!
Mr Ordinary looked entirely disinterested and Mr Caring languid as the charges were read out, but Hasbi and other mercenaries were all attentive and alert.
'Mr Ordinary and Mr Caring, you stand accused of treason,' started Serkan, 'of conspiring to overthrow the crown, of aiding and abetting the humans in an attempt to control our species, of inciting violence and murder amongst the cats, of the abduction of Izabel, Ahmet and Fatma, of the coercion of Izabel into marrying Mr Respectable through the use of drugs, of the torture of Izmir, of fraud, of slander and libel, of the murder of two men at Galata Tower, and of the unlawful imprisonment of Esma, queen of the human world, and finally the murder of King Richard.'
'Do you plead guilty or not guilty?' he asked.
'This is preposterous' cried Mr Caring, 'of course we are entirely innocent. I can't imagine how you have arrived at notions such as these. Not guilty!'
Mr Ordinary sighed. 'Not guilty' he said, 'but don't worry Serkan, we'll have this cleared up before you know it. After that, to be honest, we'd quite like an apology, but we'll get to that later.'
'Hasbi, Berk, Cenk, Tolga, Kudret, you stand accused of treason,' continued Serkan, 'of conspiring to overthrow the crown, of aiding and abetting the humans in an attempt to control our species, of murder, of fraud, of slander and libel.'
'Do you plead guilty or not guilty?' he asked.
'Guilty' said Hasbi, and then so too did the other mercenaries.
The faces of Mr Ordinary and Mr Caring fell like a rock dropped from the sky. Of course, they understood exactly what this meant.
'Hasbi, Berk, Cenk, Tolga, Kudret, the cases against you will not be read out as you have already pleaded guilty. You will remain where you are until the trial is ended so that you may provide evidence in relation to those charges against Mr Ordinary and Mr Caring.'
'The case against Mr Ordinary and Mr Caring' said Serkan, 'is as follows. In relation to the charges against you, Longshanks, Zara, Fatma, Ahmet and the Arap family, Izmir, Izabel, Hasbi and the other mercenaries, Elvan, Jezabel and seventy-seven alleys cats are prepared to testify against you, confirming your guilt in this matter. Bearing this in mind, how can you claim to be innocent?'
'Oh please spare us' said Mr Ordinary.
'Allow me' said Mr Caring, waving a paw across the chest of his friend to stop him. 'The first thing you must understand is that the nature of this world has changed greatly since society developed the justice system we are using here today. Historically it was fine to judge cats on what happened - who saw what, what traces did the criminals leave - you know the type of thing I'm talking about. But this approach just isn't suitable for the reality of the world we live in now. So, okay, it looks bad, but then of course it was meant to. The problem is that you are missing the point to why all this happened. You're right, the humans want to control our society, but we, like you, were trying to stop them. We had to do all of these things so that we could get here, with the prophecy fulfilled, with our tribes united against the human threat. There was no other way for us to achieve it. Think about it. Would Ahmet and Fatma have gone to look for the prophecy if not for us? Would Izmir have been a hero if we had not released him from the prison camp? Would they have found the treasures if we had not guided the adventurers to them? How could they have obtained the wings of the cats without Mr Security killing the humans outside Galata Tower? So you see, we have made great sacrifices for all of our benefit.'
Serkan could not believe his ears. Mr Caring was a cat of extraordinary evil and cunning.
'And what about the photo of Longshanks with the box of poison? What about the abduction of Ahmet and Fatma? What about the drugging of Izabel? What about the torture of Izmir?'
'All very regrettable' replied Mr Caring, 'but all easy enough to explain. The photo of Longshanks is obvious. After all, the prophecy said there needed to be a revolution, and this is just the way it happened, dictated by the forces of fate. Ahmet and Fatma were put away for safe-keeping, to make sure they didn't come to any harm, I mean we thought Longshanks would kill them if he could. Izabel, well, that was Mr Respectable's fault, and I suppose we cannot avoid some criticism of his behaviour. Izmir, really I cannot say why things went so badly, clearly there is a problem here but I would need to investigate before explaining. My best guess is that the cat picked for the job was simply overzealous, overly-patriotic perhaps, misinformed no doubt, but what does it matter now? Izmir is alive and well, and I couldn't be happier for him. Well done Izmir.'
By now Mr Ordinary had started to smile. This really was far more impressive than he had been expecting. The crowd on the other hand was increasingly furious. They could remember what happened. They still had not counted the dead. The suffering experienced at the paws of these monsters would leave scars on their civilisation forever. And he wanted them to believe that this had all been for their benefit? By the grace of god and their own guts had they been saved from slavery. They started to shout.
'You had us in chains!'
'My brother died because of the war you started!'
'Are you expecting my arm to grow back?'
It looked like things were about to boil over. Serkan was worried that the crowds might turn to violence, and this he could not allow.
'Order!' he shouted. 'Order! I insist, justice will be done.'
'Now' he said, turning back to Mr Caring and Mr Ordinary, whose amused looks of accomplishment had started to fade with the sight of the tribes' anger, 'you have provided an interpretation of some of the events through which you carried out the crimes we have accused you of, but do you have any evidence to support this interpretation?'
Mr Ordinary sighed again.
'Not with me right now I'm afraid,' said Mr Caring, 'no, but if you could give us a little time I'm sure we could find some.'
'Please tell those pieces you would look for first' replied Serkan.
Here Mr Caring began to lose his composure and frowned, suddenly looking a little hot underneath his fur.
'Well' he said, 'let me see… Evidence that really we had your best interests at heart, yes… Now, well of course the things you mention are the evidence. Izmir can testify and tell you that we released him from the prison camp.'
'Die!' roared Izmir from near the front.
'Yes, well, Ahmet and Fatma can testify that we helped them find the treasures.'
'Liar!' screamed Ahmet. 'A cat called Melchior told us where to find the treasures!'
'Yes, but you see, I was Melchior, I changed my appearance as a cat so that you would believe me.'
'And what about your deal with the mercenaries?' asked Serkan. 'Did you tell them that they were fighting for the good of cat civilisation?'
'Well, I can't remember exactly. I suppose we must have done.'
'Liar' said Hasbi from behind him. 'You told me yourself that we could eat and drink our fill at the expense of the rooftops forever more. You told me that I would live like a prince. You told me that you had made a deal with the humans, and that we would be spared for helping their cause, whilst the gutters and the rooftops would live as slaves.'
'I deny it!' said Mr Caring. 'Why would anyone trust you? You are a frazzled freelance, an easily-swayed sell-sword. So now you fight for the gutters, so what?'
'But you just answered that you couldn't remember what you said' continued Serkan. 'How do you know you didn't say that if you don't remember what you did say?'
'Of course I would have remembered if I'd said that' replied Mr Caring.
'You are entirely lacking in credibility' said Serkan. 'For as long as civilisation has existed, that which we are able to identify as truth has relied on the same principles. Truth is consistent, both internally with those elements of which the thing is comprised, and so too externally with those things it relates to. Truth does not need to flit about, changing between postures with every question posed. Truth is maintained through the mass of life from which it has arisen. If something is true, one cannot fail to produce evidence, for it will have surrounded every single moment of its existence. You cannot argue that you had the best interests of this world at heart because you have never done anything that was not selfish. You cannot produce cats to verify your plan to save our civilisation because you never said you would. You cannot prove that you wanted us to succeed because you abducted Ahmet and Fatma, because you drugged Izabel, because you tortured Izmir, because, before the very eyes of many cats sitting before you today, you held knives to their necks and told the other tribes to surrender. Do you still deny your guilt?'
'Completely, utterly, I deny it' replied Mr Caring.
'But you do not deny that you did these things, that you say were purposed to help us? For I take this as a clear admission of guilt.'
'As I said we were trying to save this world.'
'But the law is the law. Why did you assume you had the right to commit all of these crimes, which, whatever your intentions, were all blatant, disgusting offences? You might have talked to us about your concerns, and then we could have agreed on how to proceed, but you did not.'
Mr Caring again began to look flustered.
'It was the power of the prophecy I told you! We had no choice. You think you're so special Serkan, always acting high and mighty, but you were simply lucky. If I had been in your position then I would have done the same things as you, but as it was, history put me in the alleys, and there I tell you things were different. When the prophecy started to hold sway in our world, and what with the human technology in play too, we just had no chance from where we stood. I didn't have the upbringing you had, I didn't have the opportunities, I didn't have access to all the things you have in the gutters or on the rooftops. You just wouldn't understand what it's like being us.'
'Never once did you ask us for our help, and of course, we would have been happy to give you our time in any matter, and indeed, over the years, we have often done so. You say that we were lucky, and that was why we were able to be good, but the truth is that we have suffered far more than you. Although we were harrassed, starved, imprisoned, forced to flee our own homes, tortured and murdered, never once did we lose our faith in goodness. You let greed and envy consume you, and you were prepared to let us pay for your gain, to whatever degree was required by your evil plan. And for that, I insist, you are guilty, and it is not that I hold anything against you personally, for indeed I do wonder why our substance was not made stronger, but it is for exactly that reason that we must punish you. We have known this truth from the beginning of time, that individuals must be raised above selfishness by a commitment to society. It has been proved on countless occasions, and will be proved again here today, that it makes us happier to act for our common good, and that means preventing the individual from going too far for his own benefit. We must punish you so that all of the cats here today, and all of the cats that live in the future, know beyond doubt that the many will not suffer for a minority, it is beyond our nature to do so, and whatever, if you cannot avoid being evil, that is just tough, and there is no reason that the rest of us should subsidise your misfortune.'
Serkan turned to Longshanks.
'The prosecution rests its case' he said.
'Thank you Serkan' said Longshanks. 'We move to the verdict. Will all cats present please raise a paw if they find Mr Ordinary and Mr Caring guilty.'
Whoosh!
I thought best not to involve myself in this show of paws, for after all, I am not a cat, I have but two fair hands, and so instead I gazed around the square, and up onto the rooftops which surround it, in utter amazement. It seemed as if every single last cat in Istanbul had found them guilty.
'Will all cats present please raise a paw if they find Mr Ordinary and Mr Caring not guilty.'
Within a second all of the raised paws had fallen back down by the cats' sides, and indeed many thought it best to hide them behind their backs. Absolutely no one thought them innocent.
'We, the cats of Istanbul' said Longshanks, his voice booming, 'find you guilty of all charges. You are sentenced to death by hanging. The punishment will be carried out immediately. Guards, take them up to the rooftops. Take the mercenaries back to the prisons, we will deliberate for a while over their punishment.'
Kadir strode in and grabbed both Mr Ordinary and Mr Caring by the ruff of their necks, bashing their heads together to make sure they did not struggle. He moved through the crowds, and flung both cats into flight with a quick flick of his paws. Those cats watching only had just enough time to move out of the way, before they landed on a rooftop off to the side of the square. They spent the next moment wondering whether to beat Mr Ordinary and Mr Caring while waiting for Kadir, but Kadir was too quick, making one mighty jump and landing beside the condemned. From a fold in his fur he brought out two lengths of rope, already tied in nooses at one end, both of which were then slid over the heads of those cats about to be hanged. The nooses fitted, holding onto the other end of the two ropes, Kadir pushed them both towards the edge of the rooftop.
'Do you have any last words?' he asked.
'For the love of the plot' said Mr Ordinary, before closing his eyes.
Mr Caring however began to turn white and then started to shake. Soon he had grown so bright that some of the cats below needed to shield their eyes.
'I am Caspar' he screamed, 'the last of the wise cats! This is not the end, I promise you! Your greatest test is yet to come. You will accept the humans as your new gods…'
'Enough' said Kadir.
He gave Mr Caring a kick and he fell over the edge of the rooftops, and, with the rope held taut above him, his neck then snapped. The same was done to Mr Ordinary.
'It is done' he called down.
'Have their bodies burnt,' replied Longshanks. 'Their ashes will be scattered at sea.'
And that, as they say, was that. The four cats of the moment were all dead.
Longshanks was about to call a close to the trial but before he could do so was interrupted by the sound of barking from the side of the square. What on earth was a dog doing here? Had they no respect at all?
The cats watched in disgust as some mangy mongrel walked in through the crowds. Arriving before Longshanks, he began speaking to him in the human tongue.
'Oh you cats' he said, 'how dare you sit here and pontificate? Your conception of good and evil is limited to the realms of your own vanity. You haven't stopped for a second to consider the crimes committed against us, the dogs. Do you not realise that your hero here, whilst chasing after some silly prophecy-ploy, killed our king, whilst he was sleeping? We dogs may not be as graceful as you, but we are proud creatures all the same, and we refuse to suffer the insult. We demand that you hand over that cat! He too must face justice!'
Longshanks could not have been more astounded. His mouth fell open; there were no words for such a thing. Whatever the meaning of his message, he just couldn't get over the fact that a dog was speaking to him.
Serkan however understood what to do.
'Yes I'm terribly sorry' he said, in his best soothing voice, 'of course Izmir here did not mean to disrespect your species. His story is a long one, and would take more time to explain than we have here today, but if you will allow me, I will come to meet you myself and explain. You see, Izmir was looking for the sword of the cats, which we understand you had in your possession. But that we will get to, I can only assure you that Izmir is a good cat, and that he doesn't deserve to die for his efforts.'
'Damn the sword of the cats' said the dog. 'We didn't care about your sword. We didn't even know we had it. And anyway, you could have asked!'
'You're entirely right' said Serkan. 'I promise, somehow, one day, we will make it up to you, but I'm sorry, you may not have Izmir's head, he has been through enough already. Please name any reasonable price and we will see that it is paid.'
'Hrghhh…' said the dog. 'I will consult the pack. But you've upset the swans too you know, you'll have to compensate them as well. He killed their queen!'
'Everything that we can do to put this right will be done' replied Serkan. 'You have my word.'
With that the dog seemed satisfied, and so he went away again.
Well what a surprise thought the cats! But it was not entirely an unpleasant one, for they had been feeling a little glum after watching Kadir hang Mr Ordinary and Mr Caring, but now they felt greatly cheered. Good old Izmir. Longshanks they could see was shaking with laughter.
'Thank you everyone' said Serkan. 'That's it for today. Tomorrow we shall rest, but the day after we will hold the coronation of Izabel in the Hagia Sophia, which I'm afraid is a private event, but you are all invited to join us afterwards in Taksim Square for her marriage to Izmir.'
With that the cats of Istanbul departed, and so did I, making my way back to the palace.
It seemed so strange to be back in the human world, once again alone and without anyone to share my story with. I did not want to worry about what would happen next in our own fight, and indeed there was nothing I could do about it. I asked for news from the front, but there was none.
I was not invited to the coronation either, but I was invited to the wedding, so I did my best to occupy myself with thinking of what present to give the happy couple. I already planned to give Izabel her own rooms in the palace, for whenever she wanted to visit, but there would need to be something else, for I thought perhaps such a thing seemed too self-serving. I knew that our troubles were far from over, for no matter how hard I tried, my brain would just not work as it should. What to give them? A collar, my brain responded. No! A golden collar, my brain insisted. But of course, that was not my brain. It had to be those horrible humans that the cats had just defeated, and that we were engaged in trying to defeat in the East. So then, I would have to be structured. I started to make a list of all the categories of present I could think of: flowers, jewellery, homeware, clothing, money… No, none of it would do. What did cats like? Well I thought, perhaps I could put the royal fishing fleet at their command, or give them the dairies, but no, I couldn't do that either, for as little I cared, my subjects were bound to take it badly, and I was obliged to rule responsibly. Finally I concluded that what I really wanted was to tell Izabel and Izmir that I would be their friends forever, and this I resolved to do, simply, a truth spoken by myself, and that if ever they needed help in any way, I would give it to them.
With that decided, I wondered whether there was anything I could do to help myself. I was I noticed feeling tired and achy. I had drunk far too much the night before and now that all the excitement was over I could not deny that I was hungover. Let then this night I thought be one for my health. I pulled out my encyclopedia and did a little research about detoxification. Somehow I had to get all of the vodka out of my system. There was a lot of suggestions, but not for all of them did I have the right ingredients to hand, so in the end I settled for a long soak in a mineral salt bath and a pot of ginger tea. These things I found to be almost miraculous, for by the time I emerged some hours later, I felt entirely refreshed.
For the first night in what seemed like months, I slept soundly. In the morning, I lay in my bed, appreciating the warmth of the sunlight through the windows and listening to the song of birds in the park outside. I thought back on that first morning, when I had heard Izabel crying outside, and I marvelled. What a wonderful life this really is!
One day of rest I had, one day of peace, but on the morning of the next, the day of the coronation, I received a message from Yavuz. Things yet still turned for the worse. They had suffered a heavy defeat and had pulled back. He advised me that I should think about going into exile now. He could not advise where, but anywhere would probably be better than where I was. I hated the idea, but could I ignore my own advice? I had to accept that it was better to live, and fight another day, than to die pointlessly. But then where? I could I thought go to Greece, Zeynep I knew had friends there, and although from time to time things have between us been a little turbulent, our borders entangled as they are, I knew that they would not desert me in my hour of need. I would ask her I thought, but now there was the wedding to think of. Although the tidings were grave, I could not be anything but merry, for the day promised so much goodness. I could not stop myself from singing while I got ready.
Soon enough the time came and once again I made my way to Taksim Square. I was a little early, and the royals had not yet left the Hagia Sophia, but the streets were full of cats, all on their way to the wedding. Most mother and father cats I notice are a little shy in front of humans, they are long-accustomed to not talking to us, but the younger cats are all quite happy to utter a few words here or there.
'Hello princess!' they called.
'Hello queen!'
'Hello Esma!'
It was all just too delightful. If I didn't know better, I would have said that I was dreaming, but undeniably, there I was, once again, in Taksim Square, surrounded by the cats of Istanbul, all of whom were in the best of moods, and of course this was both right and proper, for whatever the cost of those bad times, we should not forget to celebrate the good.
Before long the ceremony was underway, and soon after that Izabel and Izmir were married, queen and king of the world. Oh what to say about it, but that it was beautiful, so beautiful that I could not stop myself from crying. For much of it I am ashamed to say I had to turn away, for the emotion I felt was so sweet, and so moving, that I feared the noise of my sobbing would ruin the experience for everyone else. Eventually Fatma found me and told me to pull myself together, and so I did.
Then of course came another feast, but this time everyone was invited, and the food, according to Izabel's inclinations, was wholesome and natural, but all of it exquisite. Oh how I enjoyed myself. I met all of the Araps, and then eventually persuaded Fatma to introduce me to her parents, who she had to accept were just not that expressive. After I had spent a good while complimenting them on their daughter, they opened up quite nicely and told me all about Fatma as a young kitten. The trouble it caused them, having the smartest cat in Istanbul as a child, but they just had to accept that such cleverness could not be controlled, but it was only that it caused them to worry, for how could they assess the risk of all the things she was interested in, but now they had learnt to just let her get on with it. Oh how lovely they were! I invited them to come to the dinner I had planned with Fatma on the evening after, but their faces said it all, no that was just too much for them. Fatma of course anyway insisted that she would not share.
Later in the afternoon I got a chance to congratulate Izabel and Izmir, and some time after that I found myself talking to Zeynep, who was only too happy to assist me in going into exile, and then Zara, who advised me against leaving, insisting that my strength was still founded here, at home, but that I would do well to start looking for international support. Serkan only smiled and swayed, as for once he had decided to indulge a little and the wine went straight to his head. Elvan I spotted dancing in the corner with Jezabel, and so there too I could see a happy ending.
Soon enough the whole square was dancing and singing, and therein time passed as quickly as it might, and so the night was spent in revelry. I was determined not to get drunk, and thus was able to get back to the palace by myself, and then fell asleep quite happily, looking forward to my evening with Fatma.
The news in the morning was as dire as I had feared it would be. They could not hold off the enemy any longer. They would retreat to the coast and there do their best to build a base from which they could defend themselves and gather strength, waiting for the time when we could fight off the aggressing force with a fair chance. They would do their best to research this new technology of the enemy, and recommended that I should do the same, but first I must flee, for their forces were already well on their way to Istanbul. Wherever I went, they promised, they would find me.
I thought about it for a little while, but in the end I could not bear the idea of falling into their hands. I knew only too well how awful they were, for I understood what had happened to the cats. I decided to leave and so gave orders to the palace to prepare. I would ask Fatma that evening to get word to Zeynep, and then we would set sail for Greece on the following morning.
Dinner with Fatma I enjoyed greatly. She preferred she said to eat out, her parents didn't like the idea of her going to the palace, and so we went to the best restaurant in Istanbul. We sat opposite each other for hours, eating an array of delectable seafood. I insisted first that she told me her version of this adventure, and in exchange I told her about the human world. This she said was what interested her most. She was happy to tell me that Zara had chosen her as the next interface, and so she had decided to start her investigation into this new technology immediately, for it was their top priority. Well that was good news I thought, and by the time dessert came I was feeling more relaxed, for I could not help being reassured by having this brilliant cat on our side. She wanted to know everything, the names of all our politicians and whatever I knew of their reputations, about our legislature, about the different types of technology I understood and of which scientists she might speak to enquire of them further. My knowledge was near exhausted when disaster struck. A flash came from the doorway of the restaurant. There was a man holding a camera. He had taken a photo of Fatma and I sat together at our table. Suddenly, the restaurant was raided by a team of security guards. Fatma fled, thank god escaping through the kitchens, but I was arrested.
And so now you find me here. I was dragged back to the palace. I, like Izabel, was drugged. When I awoke I found myself in the hospital, and I have not left since then. I heard in the following days that the news was out: I had lost my mind, and would be kept here, unless of course I recovered. I am the last of my line, and so, as there was no one to take my place, Turkey would be ruled by a protectorship, until the new constitution could be decided.
What then to do? As I know, you wonder why you are here, and why you have been allowed to listen to me talk so, when that which I have spoken contains truths that are too much for these troubled times, and I am sorry to say that I cannot answer these questions, except that I am sure, if you succeed in sharing this tale, the people of this world will be persuaded to help however they can. For now, there is nothing left for me to say but thank you, thank you for listening to my story, about the cats of Istanbul.